A first-time patron might think Sports Bar would be what its name suggests: a venue dedicated to sports and frequented by sports aficionados. And you would be correct, if by "sports bar" you just mean a place with pictures of athletes on the walls, occasional broadcasts of athletic events and courses with names like "Muhammad Ali." But Sports Bar is much more and much less than just this. It's a bit of an attempt to combine an American-style sports bar, dance club and live-music venue, with mixed results.

First off, the food. Sports Bar provides an odd combination of primarily American-themed cuisine and Japanese food brought in from the adjoining Yakitoria restaurant. And the Land of the Rising Sun certainly outshone the Stars and Stripes on this particular occasion. The sushi on offer is superb, albeit somewhat on the pricey side, running about 80 rubles on average per piece, with California rolls a bit cheaper. And a plate of nice chicken teriyaki can be had for around an entirely affordable 250 rubles. On the other hand, the ostensibly Yankee part of the menu leaves much to be desired.

The United States is not a country known for its haute cuisine – Philly is not Paris, and Chicago is certainly not Milan – but, nevertheless, it seems remarkably easy to screw it up. One would think that a simple hamburger would be pretty easy to whip out. It's just two pieces of bread around a slab of beef, for crying out loud. Defying all logic, however, hamburgers around the globe continue to be churned out in sub-par condition, and those at Sports Bar top the list. I have never tasted a less appetizing bit of food. And beer is on the expensive side, hovering at around 90-100 rubles a glass. Considering that I can get exactly the same beer for 30 rubles at the cafe-bar 5 minutes from my apartment, this is a definite downside. And, in addition, Sports Bar is Moscow's Ugly American Ground Zero.

Nevertheless, it must be stated – to avoid the perception that this review is nothing but a bit of black PR directed against Sports Bar by some nefarious rival – the club does indeed offer a number of positive aspects. After all, if you want a hamburger, you can go somewhere else and then continue on to Sports Bar. And, in any case, Sports Bar just happens to be the place where I met my now-ex-girlfriend, so perhaps you can chalk up all this bile to bitterness.

In the evening, Sports Bar offers, on many nights, live music by various bands of differing quality. And the size of the room where the music is played is the perfect size – not so large that you can't get a good view of the band, and not so small that you are crammed shoulder to shoulder with your fellow patrons. And, for those who prefer making music, or something that faintly resembles music, or just want to irritate other people in the club, it has karaoke facilities on the second floor. Also on the second floor, close by the hopefully unbreakable glass floor near the automobile-inspired bar, are a number of pool tables for those whose interests might incline in that direction.

After about 11 p.m. or after the live music ends, the dance floor downstairs opens up. And it fills up quickly, and raucously. The crowd is neither sedate nor overly in-your-face; the perfect combination for a club.

Last but not least, the greatest redeeming feature of Sports Bar must be mentioned: No cover charge. None. Nichts. Rien. Nada. Nichevo. In a city in which you have to spend 300 rubles to get into, say, Dirty Dancing, this in itself is a plus.

SPORTS BAR
10 Novy Arbat.
Metro: Arbatskaya.
Hours: Noon to 6 a.m.
Cover: None.
Tel.: 290-4311.