I was typing a fax for my boss when I suddenly felt his hands slide along my shoulders, and squeeze them. My muscles stiffened and I hoped that he would sense my discomfort and stop.

I couldn’t believe that he could do this to me.

But I couldn't bring myself to demand that he stop or report him to our boss. I thought he would eventually just stop without me having to make a big deal out it. When had my pal turned into a creep? Absurdly, I worried about his job. I didn't want him to get fired. "How could I possibly say anything?" I asked myself. We had been friends. People would think that I had led him on and then changed my mind. I felt like they would blame me, arguing that I had asked for it or at least encouraged it by being his friend.

I began to feel sick when I had to go to work. I couldn't do my job because I couldn't concentrate. I came in late and left early to avoid Sergei as much as possible. Fearing that other people would start acting like him, I stopped socializing with my co-workers. People began to call me unfriendly. I felt dirty and I wasn't sure why. When I could no longer stand it, I quit my job.

I figured that, since I hadn't been attacked, it wasn't sexual harassment. We think it'll be an assault in the supply room or that our boss will tell us directly that, if we don't have sex with him, we'll lose our jobs. But being made to feel uncomfortable by a co-worker who makes sexual innuendoes or gives unsolicited back rubs is also sexual harassment. Being friends with a co-worker is not license to force the relationship to sex. I had a right to do my job free of harassment, and I should have discussed my problem with other employees. If I had, I could have kept my job and prevented him from treating future co-workers that way.

Now I can see that I was not at fault. What I didn't realize is that I was in control of that situation. I had the means to stop Sergei's behavior by firmly telling him to stop touching me. I was concerned as to how other people would view me. But none of those other people had to deal with Sergei's advances and none of them left their job because of him.

I finally left the job & I can't go back and do the right thing now, but I have already promised myself that it will never happen again.